


Don't walk away

by joans23



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-27
Updated: 2010-04-27
Packaged: 2017-10-09 04:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joans23/pseuds/joans23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen's boyfriend won't commit. Jared's heart might be broken beyond repair. Will a little nudge in the right direction by the people who love them most set them on the path to true love and happiness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't walk away

**Author's Note:**

> This is for [](http://aggybird.livejournal.com/profile)[**aggybird**](http://aggybird.livejournal.com/) for [](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_j2_xmas/profile)[**spn_j2_xmas**](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_j2_xmas/). I was so inspired by her enthusiasm and awesome prompts that of course I immediately had to go and stalk her lj and discovered what a delightful person she is! She deserves so much better than what I have to offer. Based on the Hallmark movie [Straight from the Heart](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0340380/), this was actually my idea for Big Bang once upon a time. ;) My undying gratitude to [](http://kkgee.livejournal.com/profile)[**kkgee**](http://kkgee.livejournal.com/) for a kick-ass beta job - you rock my world, bb! The awesome banner was made by the awesome [](http://laisy.livejournal.com/profile)[**laisy**](http://laisy.livejournal.com/). Thank you so much, it's gorgeous!! Title and cut from Ryan Levine. Have I mentioned lately how much I suck at summaries? And grrrr, stupid lj making me split the post. Grrrr.

Fic: Don't Walk Away  
Title: Don't walk away  
Author: [](http://joans23.livejournal.com/profile)[**joans23**](http://joans23.livejournal.com/)  
Pairing: Jared/Jensen  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: 12,100   
Summary: Jensen's boyfriend won't commit. Jared's heart might be broken beyond repair. Will a little nudge in the right direction by the people who love them most set them on the path to true love and happiness?  
Notes: This is for [](http://aggybird.livejournal.com/profile)[**aggybird**](http://aggybird.livejournal.com/) for [](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_j2_xmas/profile)[**spn_j2_xmas**](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_j2_xmas/). I was so inspired by her enthusiasm and awesome prompts that of course I immediately had to go and stalk her lj and discovered what a delightful person she is! She deserves so much better than what I have to offer. Based on the Hallmark movie [Straight from the Heart](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0340380/), this was actually my idea for Big Bang once upon a time. ;) My undying gratitude to [](http://kkgee.livejournal.com/profile)[**kkgee**](http://kkgee.livejournal.com/) for a kick-ass beta job - you rock my world, bb! The awesome banner was made by the awesome [](http://laisy.livejournal.com/profile)[**laisy**](http://laisy.livejournal.com/). Thank you so much, it's gorgeous!! Title and cut from Ryan Levine. Have I mentioned lately how much I suck at summaries? And grrrr, stupid lj making me split the post. Grrrr.

[ ](http://s96.photobucket.com/albums/l191/laisy86/?action=view&current=bann1.jpg)

 

"I'm sorry. You're just not what we're looking for."

Jensen drops his eyes, quirks up one corner of his mouth slightly and dips his head a fraction in thanks. He walks out of the audition with his back ramrod straight, but sags against the door as soon as it closes behind him.

"Fuck," he says, running a hand through his hair. He needs the job, but more, he'd really wanted the part.

He catches the bus home. There's a wad of gum stuck to the seat next to him and a couple of teenagers noisily making out behind him. Jensen can't wait for the day to just be over.

Chris jumps on him as soon as he stumbles through the front door, snapping a party hat onto his head.

"Happy Birthday, Jenny Bean!"

"Don't call me that," Jensen says. He scowls at Chris, but it quickly dissolves into a throaty laugh when Chris flips him off and stuffs a beer into his hand.

"I'd ask how it went, but I think the someone ran over my puppy look says it all."

"Shut up. It's my birthday. You're not allowed to be mean to me today."

"Speaking of mean," Chris says, flopping down onto the couch and patting the seat next to him. "Where's that dead-beat boyfriend of yours?"

"Jeffrey's working late. He's taking me out to dinner later." Jensen sits down and takes a long drink from his beer.

"Jensen, when are you gonna realise that he's just using you and move on?"

Jensen is really not in the mood to argue with Chris about this again. His best friend makes his feelings regarding his boyfriend very clear, every chance he gets.

"He taking me to a really nice restaurant, and he said he wanted to talk about our relationship. I think he's finally gonna ask me to move in with him."

"Don't get your hopes up."

"Chris ..."

Chris cuts him off, holding his hands up in surrender. "Sorry. I just. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm a big boy, Chris, I can take care of myself."

"I know, I know. It's not." Chris stops, leans over and tugs at Jensen's party hat, so it sits even more askew. His perpetual scowl loses some of its menace as he relaxes the frown between his brows and offers Jensen a lopsided grin. "Nevermind, let's open some presents, what do you say?"

Jensen slips off the ridiculous hat and throws it over his shoulder.

"Now you're talking!" he says and holds out his hands to Chris, wriggling his fingers.

Chris digs out a heap of brightly covered packages from beneath the couch.

"Your folks sent you some money. I assumed it's to cover the rent you're behind on, so I took care of that for you," Chris says, winking and patting the bulge in his shirt pocket. Jensen makes a lunge for it, but Chris evades him easily, pelting him with gifts instead. "The rest are from Mac and Josh. This one," he says, settling down and handing Jensen a plain brown paper bag, "is from me."

"Porn mags again? Really, Chris? I hope there are at least some cocks in these."

"Fuck that. I know you've still got those Penthouses I got you last year hidden under your bed. Now open it."

Jensen rolls his eyes when he tears it open and finds that it is indeed a magazine. He turns it over and squints at the title.

"Lavender Magazine? What the hell is this, Chris?"

"Turn to page 20. Look for a big red circle."

Jensen humors him, flips to the page and grabs at the plane ticket that tumbles out. Putting it aside at Chris' urging, he reads aloud from the marked ad.

"My name is Jared Padalecki, aged 27. I'm a teacher from San Antonio, Texas and I'm interested in pursuing a committed relationship with someone likewise inclined." Jensen stops reading and closes the magazine. "Why am I reading this?"

"Because I answered it. In your name. He wants to meet you."

"Jesus, Chris!" Jensen throws the magazine down and jumps up, walking towards his room. "What the hell where you thinking? I have a boyfriend!"

"Who won't even openly admit to being gay, nevermind being in a relationship with you. He keeps you dangling on a line with empty promises and you fall for it every time! You need to stop waiting for him and get on with your life, Jen."

"By answering a stranger's singles ad?"

"Maybe this is just what he needs. If he thinks he could lose you, he'll finally step up and do the right thing."

"I don't play games, Chris."

Jensen's prevented from saying anything further by the doorbell ringing. He shoots Chris one last dirty look before opening it. Jeffrey grabs hold of him immediately, taking advantage of Jensen's lips parting in surprise to lick into his open mouth. Jensen lets out a strangled yelp, but Jeffrey only grabs hold of his ass when he tries to free himself.

Chris clears his throat and Jeffrey freezes, dropping his hands from Jensen and coming inside.

"Chris," Jeffrey says.

Chris nods in reply. Jensen closes the door and leads Jeffrey over to the couch. They spend a few minutes in uncomfortable silence, before Chris mumbles out a lame excuse and flees the apartment.

"Finally," Jeffrey says, moving closer and draping his arm over Jensen's shoulder. "I've got something special for you."

"Mmm," Jensen says as he relaxes into Jeffrey, turning to press a kiss to Jeffrey's stubbled cheek.

Jeffrey digs a hand into the hidden front pocket of his jacket and Jensen's stomach flips. He's been waiting for this moment for so long, he can hardly believe it's actually happening.

Jeffrey laughs when he holds out his hand, and Jensen opens his mouth to deliver a witty retort as he feels the rumble of it reverberating through him. Instead he's left speechless when instead of the key he was expecting, Jeffrey places a plain white envelope in his palm.

"I've booked us on a weeklong luxury cruise to the Bahamas," Jeffrey says as he squeezes Jensen tightly and presses a kiss to his temple. "Happy Birthday, baby."

Jensen doesn't say anything as he lets his hand drop down onto his lap. His numb fingers refuse to close around the envelope and it slides down to the floor. Jeffrey releases him and bends down to pick it up.

"What's the matter? Don't you like it?"

"No, it's great. It's just." Jensen pauses, not sure if he should continue. Today of all days he doesn't want to have the same old argument again. "Not what I was expecting."

"Jensen, I know you think we should move in together," Jeffrey says, rising to the bait. "But you know why we can't right now. As soon as that new play I'm set to direct gets the green light, I want to cast you in the lead. And if we're together when that happens, it'll look like, well, you know how it'll look. We'd be at risk to lose all of the financial backing for the project."

"You've been waiting for that green light for months now and we both know it's just the newest in a long line of excuses stretching back the last five years, Jeffrey. Even this," Jensen says, snatching the envelope back from Jeffrey and flinging it down onto the coffee table, "is proof of the real problem. A vacation stuck on a boat where there's almost no risk that anyone you know will see us together."

"Jensen, I spent a small fortune on that cruise. I want nothing but the best for you, and this is what I get in return? What do you want?"

"I want this," Jensen says, thrusting the magazine Chris had given him into Jeffrey's hands. "Someone who's not ashamed of who they are or what they want and isn't afraid to go out and get it."

"Someone desperate enough to take out a personal ad?" Jeffrey stands up and takes a step from Jensen. "Really, Jensen, have you sunk that low?"

"Not desperate, honest. And he wants to meet me," Jensen says, also standing. He shows Jeffrey the plane ticket Jared sent him.

"So this is your latest ploy to get me to do what you want?" Jeffrey walks over to the door and picks up his coat. "You expect me to believe you'd really go out there and meet with this guy? Well, I don't. I won't play your games, Jensen."

"Then don't," Jensen says, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Call me when you're done acting like a spoilt child," Jeffrey says and closes the door behind him with a loud bang.

Jensen sinks back onto the sofa and stares down at the ticket in his hand for a long time before going into his room to pack a suitcase.

~*~

 

Getting off the plane in San Antonio feels like coming home and Jensen takes a moment, just letting the sun beat down on him and breathing in the heat. At thirty he's almost spent the same amount of time living in Los Angeles as he did growing up in Dallas, but he supposes deep down Texas will always remain home to him.

Jensen collects his baggage and goes outside to wait for Jared to pick him up. There have been a few short text messages exchanged between them to make the travel arrangements, but nothing that could help Jensen get a real feel for the type of man Jared is. As he waits for Jared to arrive in the red pickup he mentioned, he keeps fidgeting with his clothes and nervously looking back at the terminal. Now that he's got a moment to stand still and think about it, he wonders what the hell possessed him.

Just as he's seriously contemplating turning around and getting back on a plane, Jared pulls up slowly and stops next to him. Jensen quickly swings his luggage into the back and squeezes his hand around the door handle before his nerves can get the better of him. Taking a deep breath he slides into the seat and swings the door shut behind him.

"Jensen Ackles," he says, as he holds a hand out to Jared. Jared doesn't take it. He just sits there keeping the engine running so the cool stream of the a/c will continue blasting at their faces and looks at Jensen. Jensen takes the opportunity to assess the man sitting next to him as well. He lets his eyes briefly flit down the length of Jared's muscular body, from the waves of floppy hair that he hasn't bothered combing to the ends of his scuffed trainers and then back up.

Jared's gaze is unwavering and Jensen's arm droops a little at the sight of Jared's tightly clenched jaw and white knuckled grip on the steering wheel. There's a challenge in the hard glint of his hazel eyes and Jensen straightens his arm again, not backing down. Eventually Jared looks down at the offered hand and stiffly reaches across to shake it.

"Jared Padalecki," he says and pulls away from the curb.

Jensen sits looking out the window at the passing scenery as they drive through the city. He wishes Jared would at least turn on the radio to fill the awkward silence.

"It's a beautiful town you live in," he offers, but Jared just shrugs. "It reminds me of home," he says and continues to tell Jared about growing up in Dallas and his life back in LA. He knows he's talking too much, sharing too much personal information with a perfect stranger. Luckily Jared doesn't seem to be listening anyway.

As soon as they arrive at Jared's house, a pretty young woman comes running down the steps to greet them. Jared introduces her as his sister, Megan. She envelopes Jensen in a warm hug and leads him into the house, leaving Jared to carry Jensen's baggage in by himself. He complains under his breath until she shoots him look and then immediately escapes outside again after depositing everything in the guest room.

Jensen can't believe the difference between the two of them. Megan makes him feel right at home with her welcoming warmth and pretty soon they're chatting comfortably over steaming cups of coffee in the kitchen like old friends.

"So Jensen," she says after she's made him tell her practically his entire life story, "do you do anything besides acting?"

"Like?"

"Like producing, or maybe directing."

The mention of directing makes him think of Jeffrey and the mess he left back in LA.

"Not really," he says after a moment.

"Oh, that's too bad. See, St Mary's, where Jared teaches, is having their annual school play in a few days and the drama teacher just quit. Jared's been trying to help out, but if we can't find someone who really knows what they're doing, it doesn't look like we'll be able to put anything up this year."

"I'd love to help, honestly, but I don't know if I'll be here that long."

"What do you mean?" she asks, her eyes widening. "You just got here."

"I think this might all have been a big mistake."

"Nonsense. Tell me," she says leaning in, "what do you think of Jared?"

"I don't know," Jensen says with a shrug. He can't deny that Jared is a very attractive man, but other than that he remains a complete mystery. "He doesn't really say much."

Megan regards him in silence for a moment, then gets up to refill his cup. Before sitting down again she pauses to lay her hand on his shoulder.

"We're all really glad that you came, Jensen. Please?"

Jensen touches her hand and she squeezes his shoulder gently before letting go.

"Okay."

"Great! Our parents are coming over for dinner and I can't wait for them to meet you!"

Jensen sure didn't bargain on meeting the parents already, but he can't help but laugh at Megan's enthusiasm. Before he knows it, she's also roped him into helping prepare dinner. She won't let him stir anything, but he gets to do plenty of chopping. They're still laughing and cooking up a storm when the parents arrive. Jared's mom wraps Jensen up in a tight hug before he can even think about getting nervous and her husband enthusiastically shakes his hand while thumping him on the back. They make him call them by their first names, Gerry and Sherry, and Jensen is more perplexed than ever by Jared's stand-offish behavior when they met.

Jared joins the rest of the group just as they're sitting down and at once everyone seem to draw back into themselves to match his somber mood. Sherry still tries to make polite conversation, asking about Jensen's acting and his favourite spots in LA. Jared ignores them for the most part, methodically finishing his meal with his eyes nailed to his plate. He pushes his chair back when he's done and leaves without a word. The others don't even react, clearly used to Jared's rude behavior.

"Thank you for the lovely meal, Megan," Jensen says, raising his voice just a little. From the corner of his eye he sees Jared pausing in the doorway for a moment before continuing upstairs.

"Jensen, I'm sor-" Sherry starts and Jensen stops her with a tight smile. He doesn't need another apology.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to make a call," he says and makes his way out through the kitchen out onto the back porch.

He hits Chris's number on speed dial and leans against the wall as he waits for the call to connect.

"Shit, I knew it. He's ugly, isn't he? I should have known something was up when they didn't include his picture."

"Conversations usually start with _hello_, Chris. And no, he's actually ... not entirely unattractive."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Who says there's a problem."

"You called me."

"So?"

"Jensen, cut the crap and tell my why you've got your panties in a knot."

"Because clearly he doesn't want me here," Jensen says. Mindless of splinters, he sits down on the wooden steps, rubbing at the contacts scratching in his eyes. "Guess he took one look and decided I wasn't worth the effort. Seems to be a theme these days."

"Fuck that. You're too good for him, Jenny Bean. Just make up some story and come home."

"Don't call me that. And God, I'm tempted. But his family ... they're really good people. I don't want to lie to them."

"In that case, stop moaning and suck it up. Enjoy the vacation and see you in a few days."

"Chris?" Jensen says, but it's no use. Chris has already hung up on him. Jensen tucks the phone into his back pocket with a sigh. He has to admit that not wanting to lie to Jared's family is a pretty lame excuse. But he's nowhere near ready to delve into the real reason why he wants to stay, so he distracts himself by watching the fireflies flitting across the lawn. He stays outside breathing in the calm night air and listening to the crickets chirping in the underbrush until his ass is numb.

The house is dark when Jensen goes back inside. He's about to tiptoe up the stairs to his room when he sees a faint light still on in the living room. He knows he should ignore it. Someone probably just forgot to turn off a lamp. Curiosity gets the better of him though and he's halfway across the room before he knows it.

Jared is sitting at a little desk in the corner, the desk lamp casting a rich chocolate halo around his head. He's biting down at his bottom lip as he scribbles furiously, rapidly transferring papers from a massive pile on his right to a much smaller one on his left. There it is again, that strange twist in Jensen's gut that has him stepping closer against his better judgement.

"Writing something?" he asks softly.

He still startles Jared who looks over at him quickly before turning his full attention back to the task at hand.

"What's it look like I'm doing? God, are you slow or something?"

Vaguely Jensen's aware that it's the most words Jared's spoken to him yet, but that's just it. Jensen's had enough.

"Maybe. But you're an ass!"

Jensen is gearing himself up for a fight, one that he's got a feeling Jared's been spoiling for from the beginning. He's thrown for a loop when Jared throws his head back and laughs out loud.

"An ass? Seriously?"

Jared's face is transformed by the laughter. The hard lines around his mouth and eyes melt away and there are dimples in his cheeks so deep they make Jensen want to dig his fingers into them. Or maybe his tongue. He might have thought Jared was attractive before, but like this he's beautiful. After a while he realises that he's been staring and Jared's patiently waiting for his comeback.

"Well, you are," Jensen says, smiling back at Jared.

"Sorry. I'm grading papers and these kids are driving me nuts. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Jensen can't believe that Jared's actually apologizing for once, that he's still smiling up at him. It makes him feel kinda stupid.

"You should laugh more. It suits you."

As the words leave Jensen's mouth, he realises it was the wrong thing to say. Too much, too soon. He watches as Jared presses his lips back into a thin line, dipping his head to hide his eyes behind the curtain of his too long hair.

"Don't tell me what I should do. You don't know me."

No, Jensen thinks as he walks away. He really doesn't. And if Jared doesn't stop hiding behind all that anger, he never will.

~*~

 

Much to his surprise, Jensen falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. He's roused much too early the next morning by the swipe of a broad tongue across his face, followed by a blast of dog breath foul enough to make his eyes water. He bats the dog away without opening his eyes. The next moment he's forced upright when a second heavy weight lands on the bed, squarely on his crotch. The two huge dogs looking back at him don't seem to take any offense at his undignified yelp as one leans in to lick at him again.

"I see you've met Harley and Sadie," Megan says from the doorway.

"They've introduced themselves, yes," Jensen says, his voice only half an octave off.

"Sorry about that. They must have slipped in when Jared went on his run."

Jared probably let them in on purpose to maim him, Jensen thinks, but doesn't say anything as he pets their heads carefully. Hopefully Megan will take them with her and he can get back to sleep.

"Anyway, breakfast is ready whenever you are."

"But it's still dark outside!"

Megan's lips twitch as she fights a laugh.

"The sun's been up for over an hour. And school starts at seven, so things happen pretty early around here. See you in the kitchen?"

"Is there coffee?"

"Freshly brewed."

"I'll be right down."

Jensen moves with a speed he didn't know he was capable of before at least noon, showering and dressing in record time. Megan wasn't lying about the coffee and presses a steaming cup into his grateful hands as soon as he sits down.

"Any plans for today?" Megan asks as she fills his plate with bacon and eggs.

"Not yet. Thought I'd just take it easy, you know?"

"Well, you could always swing by the school later and check out the rehearsals if you want to."

"I'm sure he's not interested in wasting his time with something as banal as a school play," Jared says as he walks in from outside, hot and sweaty from his run.

"I'd love to," Jensen tells Megan, definitely not noticing the way Jared's sweat soaked t-shirt is clinging to his chest.

Jared huffs then steals a piece of Megan's buttery toast and goes upstairs to shower.

"You sure?" Megan asks.

It's time Jensen shows Jared that he doesn't scare him.

"Definitely."

Jared leaves about fifteen minutes later, hair still wet and shirt only half-buttoned. Jensen catches a ride with Megan, whose job in the school office allows her to run a few errands in town before she has to report for duty. He's happy to tag along and carry the bags Megan keeps loading into his arms. By the time they make it to the school, it's after first recess and Jared's assembling all the kids that've been released from their regular classes for the rehearsal.

Jensen finds a spot just inside the backstage door where he's pretty well hidden behind stacks of empty boxes and broken electronics. He watches as Jared leads the kids to their places with a gentle hand against their backs and a few softly whispered words in their ears.

"Are you scared too?" a small voice asks next to him. Jensen starts, nearly knocking over his cover with flailing limbs. He was so busy watching Jared that he didn't notice the kid sneaking up on him.

"Scared?" Jensen asks the boy practically clinging to his leg.

"Of being on the stage," he says, chin wibbling dangerously.

"Hey," Jensen says, squatting down, "what's your name?"

"Ben."

"Well, Ben, I'm Jensen. I'm an actor, which means I have to go on stage all the time."

"Really?"

"Uh huh. And it's okay to get a little nervous, it just means you want to do your best. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now, are you ready to have some fun?"

Ben nods, but still won't stop trying to hide behind Jensen.

"Would it help if I held your hand?" Jensen asks, straightening and holding out the offered hand.

Ben slips his sweaty little hand into Jensen's much bigger one and he squeezes it tightly, an unfamiliar warmth blooming across his chest. He looks up, right into Jared's eyes and Jared quickly looks away. Jensen leads Ben over to the other kids who run up to them excitedly to meet the stranger Ben's bringing into their midst. Jared throws his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Sorry. I'll help get them all into place again," Jensen says over the kids' clamour.

"It's okay," Jared says softly and then loudly claps his hands together twice. "Come on, everybody, back into place!"

Everyone except Ben scrambles back to their spots.

"Hi Ben, we're all so happy you're joining us. You wanna say goodbye to Jensen and take your place?"

Ben nods and tugs at Jensen's hand until he bends down again and then wraps his little arms tightly around Jensen's neck. Jensen's caught by surprise for a moment and then brings up his arms to hug him back. He looks up at Jared, smiling. Jared's got a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Jensen lets go and Ben takes half a step back before bending over and throwing up all down Jensen's shirt and pants. Jensen falls over, landing on his ass as Jared bursts out laughing.

"M'sorry," Ben says, wiping his mouth his shirt sleeve. "Guess I'm still feeling a little nervous." Some of the other boys lead him away, clapping him on the back and making whooping noises. Apparently puking on a grown-up gives you celebrity status. Jared finally stops laughing long enough to help Jensen up and send someone to get Megan to take him home.

Megan makes him ride in the backseat, sitting on old newspapers, with all the windows open. She makes them coffee while Jensen goes upstairs to change. He tries to rinse off the worst of it in the bathroom, but when he keeps dry heaving at just the smell, decides it's not worth it. He carries the ruined garments downstairs to dump in the trash, but Megan leads him to the washing machine instead. She adds a scoop of detergent and then another half just for good measure.

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver. I can't really afford to buy new clothes right now."

"No big parts lined up?"

"Nope. And it's not even about the money, you know? It's about not getting to do what I love."

"Yeah, I totally get that," Megan says, her teaspoon scraping against the bottom of her cup as she stirs it over and over.

"How's that?" Jensen asks, pushing his own cup aside. "Don't you like working at the school?"

"Oh no, it's fine. It's just. I thought I'd be finishing law school by now."

"So why aren't you?"

"I came back a few years ago when Genevieve died."

"Who's Genevieve?"

"Jared's wife. Didn't he tell you?"

"No," Jensen says, caught in that helpless feeling of sympathy where there's no way you could possibly say or do anything right. "How did she die?"

Megan gets up suddenly and takes their cups over to the sink. She stands leaning against it for a minute before turning back to Jensen.

"Jared's probably going to kill me for telling you this."

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, I think you have a right to know," Megan says and sits back down opposite Jensen. "Genevieve was a teacher, taught third grade, just like Jared. We always knew Jared was bi, and most of his serious relationships had been with guys, so we were a little surprised when they started dating. A few months later Jared proposed and then Genevieve was expecting. They both loved children, badly wanted some of their own. We figured that was why they got married. It was a difficult pregnancy and Genevieve went into labour early. She died in childbirth."

"He must have been devastated."

"I never knew how much he loved her until I saw how hard her death hit him. The way we were raised, he didn't show it though. He just got quiet, closed himself off from everything and everyone. He'd disappear for days on end and then when he finally got back, he would hole himself up this house, not let anyone in. My parents called me at school, asked me if I would put my studies on hold for a while, move back to keep an eye on him. They were afraid he'd do something. To himself. That's how bad it was. They're getting on in years and Jeff, my eldest brother, had his own family to take care of. Besides, we were always close and we hoped he'd talk to me."

"And did he?"

"A little. Not enough to really do much good."

"I don't understand. Jared's obviously still dealing with his wife's death and he doesn't want me here. Why did he send me the ticket to come down here?"

"Jensen, I have to come clean. It was me that placed the ad and sent you the ticket. Jared was furious when he found out."

"But he still went along with it?"

"Yeah. Jared's been insisting that I go back to school, but I told him I couldn't until I was sure that he moving on with his life too. So, we made a deal that he'd start seeing people and I'd go. But he kept welching, making dates and then breaking them at the last minute. With you already on the way, he couldn't back out this time."

"Even if I wasn't exactly what he had in mind," Jensen says. "I'm pretty much the exact opposite from Genevieve," he clarifies when Megan looks at his questioningly.

"Actually, you have a lot in common. You stand up to Jared, just like Genevieve did. And you make him laugh. It's been years since he's done that."

"I don't know about that."

"Jensen, I feel terrible, knowing we brought you out here under false pretenses, but I'm so glad that we did. You're good for him."

Jensen's response is cut off by the front door opening and then closing with a bang.

"Jared?" Megan calls out, glancing at her watch with a frown.

"Yeah," Jared calls back and they follow his voice out into the living room.

"What're you doing home so early?" Megan asks.

"The rehearsal was pretty much a bust after, well, you know. I sent the kids home. Thought I'd get some work done on the decor," Jared says, only stepping away from his search through the hall closet long enough to answer her. "Just came by to pick up some supplies."

"What do you need?" Megan asks.

"A couple of nails and a hammer. We still have some paint left over from when we repainted the bedrooms upstairs, right?"

"Lots, yeah. It's in the garage, I think. You go and get that and I'll look for your toolbox."

"I'll help," Jensen offers, but Jared's already shaking his head.

"You'll just get in the way."

"Come on, man. I just want it to be nice for the kids. Despite the puke, I kinda like them. Let me help."

Jared still doesn't look convinced, but doesn't try and stop him when Jensen follows him outside. When they leave a little later with everything loaded in the bed of the pick-up and Jensen in the front seat, Megan sends them off with a wave and two big thumbs up for Jensen behind Jared's back.

The drive to school is quiet as always, but the silence feels less hostile to Jensen than their first trip. Jared's leaning back in his seat as he taps out the rhythm to some song in his head on the steering wheel and he doesn't snap at Jensen when he asks about the production. He actually becomes quite animated as he tells Jensen about what they've got planned and by the time they arrive, they seem to have worked out some kind of truce.

Jared asks him to sort through the costumes after he's helped him offload the truck. "I've only got one hammer," Jared explains, holding it up.

"That's cool."

Jensen pulls out arms full of ratty outfits, trying to distinguish between the bad and the utterly useless as Jared pounds away at the dilapidated props.

"This is terrible," Jensen complains when the backdrop Jared is preparing collapses with a loud crash. "Why can't you get any new ones?"

"The principal won't allow us any funds," Jared answers simply and starts again.

By the time they get home, they're too exhausted for anything but a quick sandwich and a hot shower to wash away the dust and sweat.

The next morning Jensen's even up before Megan, though Jared's already left for his run, taking the dogs with him this time. He corners her as soon as she walks into the kitchen.

"I want to talk to the principal this morning. Can you set that up for me?"

"Talk to the principal?" Megan asks warily. "Why?"

"To ask for money for a new set and costumes. We can't let the kids perform with that shit they've got. They deserve better."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Jensen, the principal was Genevieve's father."

"So?"

"He hasn't spoken to Jared since Genevieve's funeral. He blames Jared for not getting Genevieve to the hospital in time. The doctors said she was one of those poor woman whose bodies just weren't meant to bear children, that she should never have gotten pregnant to start with. There wasn't much they could have done for her anyway, but he refuses to believe differently."

"And now innocent children have to suffer for it? That's crap. You have to help me. Please, Megan."

"I'll try my best, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't," Jensen says, sweeping her up in a big hug. "You're the best! When do think you'll be able to get me in?"

"Well, he usually goes in a little early on Wednesdays to catch up on paperwork, so if you're ready we can go right now."

"I was born ready," Jensen deadpans and Megan rolls her eyes at him as she snatches up her keys.

Jared's not back yet, so they leave him a note on the refrigerator saying Megan had to go in to work early. Jensen hopes it's not something unusual. They may have buried the hatchet for the time being, but Jensen's not sure how Jared would react if he knew what Jensen was planning.

Mr. Cortese's a little perplexed at Jensen's request to meet, but agrees readily enough. He shakes Jensen's hand and directs him to take a seat in front of his heavy oak desk.

"Mr. Ackles. What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to talk to you about the third graders' play, Mr. Cortese."

"What about it?"

"The play is on Saturday, sir, and they desperately need new sets and new costumes."

"I don't know how you got involved with this, Mr. Ackles, but whoever dragged you into it should have told you that the school doesn't have any funds available to allocate to that project."

"Respectfully, sir, I believe it's your personal feelings towards Mr. Padalecki that are the issue here."

"How dare you!"

"I dare for the children's sake, sir. Isn't it time for you let go of the hurt and the hate? Jared's a good man, and he's good with the kids."

"I see. Did he ask you to come begging for him?"

"You know he'd never ask anyone to do that. And I told you, I'm doing this for the kids."

The principal sits back in his chair, sternly regarding Jensen for so long he feels like he's back in school again, wanting to confess to whatever petty offense they're accusing him of, as long as he can get away from that knowing stare.

"I'll see to it that the funds are made available immediately. The matter of Mr. Padalecki however, is not open for discussion."

"That's all I came for. Thank you, sir."

"You can collect the check on your way out. Good day, Mr. Ackles."

"Good day, sir," Jensen says, but it falls on deaf ears as Mr. Cortese picks up his pen and returns to his reports.

Jensen walks out on shaky legs and sags against the door as it clicks shut behind him. Megan's waiting at the end of the passage, nervously biting at her bottom lip. Jensen plays it up a little, letting his shoulders drop ever further with a heavy sigh. Then he looks up and smiles at her and she lets out a loud whoop before clamping her hands over her mouth and disappearing into her office with a stifled giggle.

He collects the check from the old lady at reception and gapes at the size of the amount written on it. Then he rushes off to find Jared.

Jared's reaction is, while not entirely unexpected, not what Jensen was hoping for. He gets right up into Jensen's face, waving the check under his nose.

"What did you do?"

"Dude, before you say it wasn't any of my business, I know. You're right and you can even beat me up if it'll make you feel better. But take the money. Make this the best damn play St Mary's has ever seen."

Jared switches his gaze from Jensen to the piece of paper in his hand and back again. He steps back and slips it into his pocket.

"Thanks," Jared says simply and walks away.

Jensen does a little leap of joy and pumps his fist in the air. He sobers quickly when Jared stops at the door.

"You know," Jared says, not turning back, "we have a lot of work to do and not a lot of time before Saturday. You got any more surprises up your sleeve?"

"Just wait and see," Jensen says and follows Jared out.

His first stop is Megan's office where he has to endure her delighted squeals and neverending hugs before he can get a word in. She sobers quickly when he asks about her sewing skills. She's roped into helping with the costumes before she knows it and when Jensen leaves a few minutes later, it's armed with her car keys and the rest of the info he needs to work some magic.

By the time school is over and Jared and Megan join them, he's got Jeff and Gerry sawing and sanding outside, Sherry carefully cutting out patterns and half the backdrop painted in brilliant colors. After Megan's stops giggling, she helps him clean the broad blue stroke he'd managed to get over his left cheek before she runs over to hug her parents.

Jared's expression is unreadable as he watches Jensen try to scrub away the last traces of paint from his face.

"Surprise?" Jensen says hesitantly when Jared doesn't anything.

Jared's lip twitches a little before he can school his features back to indifference, but Jensen saw it and feels a smile erupt on his face so wide it _hurts._

"I suppose I better try and salvage something from your horrendous paint job before it strikes everyone blind. Got another brush?"

Jensen gladly hands one over. Jared sticks it in his back pocket while he goes over to greet his family. He kisses his mom on the cheek and Jensen feels his own throat constrict painfully when he sees her trying to inconspicuously wipe away a tear as he moves over to the other men. Jared squeezes his father's hand and claps a hand on his brother's shoulder as they share a joke. It's only the second time he's exposed to the power of Jared's dimples and it strikes him just as hard as the first.

Jared's still joking and laughing as he backs away from them and when he turns suddenly, catches Jensen staring at him and his smile freezes. Jensen quickly looks away, kneeling next to the paint cans and pretending to read the labels.

"Find what you're looking for?" Jared asks a moment later, his voice husky in Jensen's ear as he kneels down next to him.

"Uhm, ah, yes!" Jensen exclaims, triumphantly holding up a random can as he feels his cheeks burning.

"Good," Jared says, their fingers brushing as he takes the can from him.

Jensen breaths a little easier as Jared leans back a little, tilting it to check the color.

"Grey?" Jared says, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"For the rocks," Jensen says, vaguely pointing at some round shapes on the brightly colored canvas.

"Uh huh," Jared says, and hands it back.

He picks up the blue Jensen was using earlier and gets to work as Jensen pries the top off his new selection. If he notices Jensen's sneaky glances every now and again, he doesn't show it.

They've made quite a bit of progress by the time Jeff's wife shows up at seven with bags of takeaways and a large cooler box. They decide to call it a day and settle on the edge of the stage to enjoy their well deserved dinner. They plan the next day's work as they eat, then settle back with a couple of ice cold beers while Jared regales them with the hilarious things the kids have gotten up to during rehearsals. It's past midnight before they pack up to go home, everyone starving for the easy companionship that they've been missing for so long.

"You did good, kid," Gerry says as he pulls Jensen in for a quick hug.

Jensen ducks his head and backs away with a shy smile. Jeff is still deep in conversation with Jared, his arm around his brother's shoulder when Megan jingles her keys at him.

"Ready to go?"

"I could sleep for a week," Jensen says, nodding.

Megan asks him to drive and dozes curled up in the passenger seat on the way home. He shakes her awake when they arrive and has to convince her that he really can't carry her up to bed, no matter how much she begs him to. He does let her rest her head on his shoulder though, keeping her upright with an arm around her waist as they make their way up the stairs.

Jensen takes a quick shower and ends up staring at himself in the mirror as he brushes his teeth. Helping Jared out, not only with the play, but also with his family, makes him feel so good, but he has to wonder why he goes to all the trouble after the way Jared's been treating him. The skin on his hands tingles in the places where their fingers touched earlier as if in answer. He quickly rinses his mouth before snapping of the light and getting into bed. Jensen lies awake for a long time, but doesn't hear Jared come in.

Thursday passes in a blur of mad activity, no chance for anything but frantically working on getting everything just right. Jensen hammers and paints and even sews a little, only leaving it to Megan after he almost manages to sew right through his own finger. Jared leaves them to finish up on Friday as he runs the kids through their paces one last time before the big show. They're bursting with excitement about the new costumes and scenery, and Jared struggles to get them to concentrate. It's only after he threatens to cancel the performance that they settle down enough to get the job done. Because of the delay, some of the kids miss their bus and Jared has to take them home.

Dusk is setting in by the time they finish, the worst of the heat beginning to fade away. Jensen tells Megan to leave without him, preferring to walk back to the house by himself. It's that magical time of the evening when the streets are almost empty and it's quiet enough to hear nature coming alive around him. He can hear friendly chatter spilling from homes as families sit down to dinner and the slight breeze feels good against his sweaty skin. His time in Texas is almost at an end and he's gonna miss it when he gets back to the city.

Only a few days left and things are even more confusing than we he got here. He still doesn't know where things stand with Jeffrey, hasn't heard a word from him since he walked out on him. And now ... now he's got this hopeless crush on someone that's still in love with his dead wife. Maybe it is for the best that he's leaving sooner rather than later, before it gets even worse and his heart ends up broken.

As if thinking about Jared draws Jensen to him, he sees Jared's truck parked by the side of the road. At the cemetery. Jensen crosses to where the gate wasn't closed properly and enters, his eyes having already picked out Jared sitting in front of a grave a few yards in. He makes sure to make enough noise so that Jared can hear him coming, but Jared doesn't look away from the headstone bearing his last name.

"Megan told me about your wife and baby. I'm so sorry, Jared."

"Did she tell you how my baby girl lived for three days? How I held her in my hands as she died? How I prayed for them? How I couldn't save them?" Jared's voice breaks at the end and he drops his head down into his upturned palms, quietly sobbing into them.

"Jared, there wasn't anything you could have done, that anyone could have done," Jensen says as he steps forward to lay a hand on his shoulder.

Jared shakes his head and turns his tear streaked face up to Jensen.

"No, it was my fault. I didn't, oh God, I didn't love them enough, want them enough. I don't deserve another chance."

Jensen breathes against the dull thud of his heart in his chest as he falls down on his knees next to Jared. Jared stays still as he reaches out, lets him frame Jared's face in his hands. Jensen feels like he's finally seeing another part of the real Jared for the first time. Something that's just as much a part of him as the few warm smiles he's been letting slip lately. The part that could love someone so deeply that he's still clinging to her even after death, that's gotten so hurt he has to fiercely hide behind anger and indifference to just survive. Jared is letting him in, letting him see. Jared closes his eyes when Jensen wipes his thumbs under them, gathering the moisture from his cheeks.

"Jared."

"No," Jared breathes as he wrenches his head back, twisting his body up and away. He leaves Jensen on his knees, his hands still hanging in the air.

"Yes, you do," Jensen tells him as he walks away. His broken voice is barely above a whisper and he doesn't know if Jared even heard him.

He slowly makes his way back to the house, unsure of how he's supposed to look Jared in the eye after that and pretend nothing happened. Only Megan's car is in the driveway though. She's sitting on the couch and looks up from the television when he closes the door behind him. He just mumbles out a vague excuse and escapes to his room. There's a quiet knock against the door a few hours later as Megan checks if he wants any dinner. He feigns sleep and doesn't answer. Jared never comes home.

"You've been quiet all morning," Megan says as she clears the breakfast dishes the next morning. "You want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"Whatever has my brother sleeping on my parent's couch and you hiding in your room like a emo teenager."

"Nothing happened. And I wasn't hiding."

"Right," Megan says, drawing it out. "Anyway, we have to be at the school at about three to help get the kids dressed and ready. You want a ride or you gonna walk again?"

"I don't think I should go."

"See, I knew something was up," Megan says, interrupting him. "But I don't care, you have to come."

"It's meant for the people of this town, the kids' families," Jensen continues. "I don't belong there."

"Jensen, you've done so much to help make the play happen." Megan threads her arm through Jensen's and pulls him closer until their hips bump. "You belong."

Jensen looks away and Megan tugs at his arm again until he looks up and nods.

"Okay, now, I need a dress for tonight. How's your sense of style?"

"Impeccable," Jensen answers and lets Megan drag him to the mall where they spend hours moving from dressing room to dressing room as Megan tries on every dress in creation. Jensen doesn't complain too loudly. He loves hanging out with her and left to his own devices he would have spent the morning in a brooding heap.

They make a quick pit stop at the house to get ready before heading to the school. Jensen has a moment of panic when he sees Jared's truck already parked in his usual spot, but Megan's watching him like a hawk so he forces himself to relax. Jared's parents pull up behind them and they all walk in together. There are already a bunch of kids that have been dropped off by their parents. Jared's trying to dress three kids at once and Jensen rushes forward to save the one being strangled by his shirt.

Jared flashes him a grateful little smile before they're overrun by the next wave of hyperactive superstars. Between trying to keep the kids clean and undamaged and organizing a few last minute repairs, Jensen barely has a chance to breathe. He leans back against the back wall with a bottle of blessedly cool water as the kids finally take their places. The others take their seats as Jared makes a short introduction and then it's showtime.

The curtain rises and Jensen feels the familiar thrill running through him. It's been a long time since he's been up there himself and he's so grateful to the kids for letting him share in their moment.

Jared hovers just off-stage, giving cues and encouragement, sometimes madly dancing along where only the kids and Jensen can see him. The performance is flawless and Jensen's practically beaming at the crowd's thunderous applause and ear-splitting cheers. A couple of the kids veer off in his direction as they run off the stage, and he kneels down just as the first sweaty little body hurtles into his arms.

There's a mad rush of parents collecting kids, a few here and there stopping for a quick word of thanks to Jared or himself. Just as suddenly they're all gone again, only Jared's family and a few of the other teachers left behind. Megan herds them all out into the foyer where there are tables laden with food and drink. Jensen is embarrassed by Megan constantly dragging people over to meet the big time actor from LA and to fawn over how awesome he is. He's walking over to hide in the company of Jared's parents when a sudden hush descends over the party. He turns to find Mr. Cortese's imposing figure filling the doorway and looks over to gauge Jared's reaction, ready to step in if needed.

Jared's the first to move, bending to place his can of soda on the floor. Jensen watches the principal walk over to him as he straightens and takes an involuntary step forward himself. Jared's mom stops him with a hand on his arm and he has to watch helplessly as the two large men come face to face.

They stand regarding each other wordlessly for a second and then Mr. Cortese reaches out and offers Jared his hand. The tension visibly leeches out of Jared as he shakes it. They still don't talk, but the older man claps Jared on the shoulder before stepping away to fix himself a plate. Jared looks over at them and Sherry rushes forward to pull him down into a hug. The rest of his family aren't far behind, crowding in around them and Jared steps back to let them in. Jensen enjoys their smiling faces for a minute before quietly slipping away.

He makes his way backstage and finds a roll of garbage bags in the maintenance closet. He starts stuffing the mess littered on the floor into the bags, quietly humming one of Chris's tunes. The bag is almost full and Jensen's contemplating tying it up and swapping it for a new one when the door behind him slams shut. Jensen jumps a little and turns sharply. Jared is right there, his fingers sliding along Jensen's jaw. Jensen gasps and Jared smooths his thumb over his lower lip, chasing the rush of Jensen's breath with his mouth.

Jared kisses him, a trembling pressure that lingers against his lips, not pushing his advantage. Jensen drops the bag still in his hand and fists it into Jared's shirt instead, pushing him back until Jared's back hits the wall with a dull thud. He kisses Jared back, opening his mouth to him. Jared takes the invitation, the tip of his tongue tracing along the seam of Jensen's lips before plunging inside. Jensen opens his mouth wider, wanting more, wanting everything, and sucks him in deeper.

The slam of Jared's palm against his chest punches all the breath from his lungs as he pushes Jensen away.

"I can't do this," Jared says, squeezing past Jensen. "I'm sorry."

Jensen wraps a hand around his arm, holding him back.

"It's okay."

"No, you're here under false pretenses. I never wanted anything to do with you."

"I know," Jensen says and tugs until Jared turns to face him again. "Megan told me."

"I'm sorry," Jared says again "I didn't expect this."

"I didn't either." Jensen rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "A week ago all I wanted was to move in with Jeffrey."

"Jeffrey? Is that your boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Jensen admits. "We've been dating for a long time now, but he wants to keep it secret, hide me away like something he's ashamed of. My friend Chris answered your ad my name. He thought it would make Jeffrey jealous."

"Did it?"

"I don't know. I don't care. I want you to talk to me about Genevieve and why you can't move on."

Jared pulls his arm out of Jensen's grasp and shakes his head.

"Go home, Jensen."

"Jared," Jensen tries, but he's already through the door, disappearing into the night.

Jensen kicks the abandoned garbage bag, curses as its contents spill out onto the floor again. He grabs his jacket and goes in search of Megan. There aren't many people left and he spots her easily, leaning against the wall as she chats with her mom.

"Sorry to interrupt," Jensen says and Sherry turns to him in surprise.

"Jensen!" she exclaims and throws her arms around his neck.

He can't help it and smiles as he hugs her back.

"Thank you," she whispers in his ear and he freezes.

He steps away from her embrace and pretends not to see the glance she gives Megan.

"Is something the matter?"

"I was just wondering if I could borrow Megan's car to go back to the house."

"Sure," Sherry says, "we'll drop her off later."

"No, that's okay, Mom," Megan says, peering at him. "I'm feeling a little tired myself. I'll take Jensen home."

Jensen keeps his face carefully blank as he nods his thanks.

"I'll see y'all later," he says as he kisses Sherry's cheek and waves goodbye to Gerry and Jeff.

Megan remains silent until they're in the car.

"Are you alright?" she asks, leaning forward over the steering wheel, pushing the key into the ignition.

Jensen honestly doesn't know, so he just shrugs. Megan pats his knee and then drives them home in silence.

Jensen's so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't notice the car in the driveway until Megan says something about it.

"Who could that be? And at this time of night?"

The moment he sees the luxury sedan, Jensen knows.

"Oh my God."

"Jensen? Do you know who that is?" Megan asks, but Jensen's already getting out of the car.

"What are you doing here?"

"I know I hurt you," Jeffrey says. "I know I have no right. But I can't lose you, Jensen."

"Jeffrey, I ..."

"I love you," Jeffrey says, hooking a finger around his belt and tugging him closer as he interrupts him. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Jeffrey is close enough to kiss, but Jensen doesn't want to. He can still feel the brush of Jared's lips. And the sting of his rejection.

"Do you even know what that means?"

"It means I want you to live with me. It means I got the funding for the play, Jensen. The lead is yours. We're going to make it great, together."

"Together?" Jensen asks, faintly aware that Megan is still sitting in her car, that she must be hearing every word.

"It's not too late, right?" Jeffrey says hesitantly. "You and the teacher aren't..."

"No," Jensen says shortly. "We're not."

"So what do you say?"

This is what Jensen wanted. Jeffrey is here, actually came after him and he's willing to give it all to him.

"I say lets go home."

Jeffrey's smile is victorious, pulling Jensen in the rest of the way for a quick kiss.

"Let's get you packed."

Megan clears her throat behind them and Jeffrey lets him go, reaches past Jensen to introduce himself. Megan accepts his offered hand with a polite smile and steps around them to unlock the front door. She offers Jeffrey something to drink, but Jensen hears him decline as he goes upstairs to pack.

Jeffrey carries his baggage out to the car, escaping the awkward silence while Jensen says his goodbyes to Megan.

"Thank you so much for having me, Megan. I'm going to miss this place."

"Jensen, are you sure?"

"He's here," Jensen says and kisses her cheek. "You have my number and e-mail address. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

"Are you kidding? You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Good," Jensen says, laughing. He gives her one last hug and then lets Jeffrey pull him away.

Jensen doesn't look back.

 

~*~

 

Jeffrey's got a big welcome back party arranged for him the night after they get back. Jensen wonders if it says something about him that Jeffrey was that sure of himself.

Less than five minutes after they step through the door, Jeffrey abandons him to go talk business with his cronies. Jensen grabs a glass of champagne and finds a quiet corner to hide away in.

Chris finds him anyway, snorts as he takes away the champagne and hands him a beer instead. He leans in next to Jensen, poking him with an elbow.

"So is this what you wanted?" Chris asks, sweeping his arm in a wide arc to encompass the whole room.

"It's a start," Jensen says, taking a drink from the bottle. It's cool and crisp. "It's enough."

"Enough? Fuck, Jensen, why are you settling for enough?"

"Why are you mad at me? You're the one who set this whole thing up with Jared to get Jeffrey jealous. And now you're giving me shit because it worked?"

"No, I didn't do it to get Jeffrey jealous. I did it to open your eyes, show you what else is out there so you wouldn't have to settle. You deserve better."

"We're perfect for each other."

"Do you even love him?"

Jensen doesn't answer. He takes another deep pull on his beer bottle, but then it's snatched from in front on his mouth.

"What are you drinking?" Jeffrey asks as he motions a waiter over. He dumps the bottle on his tray and lifts two champagne flutes, handing one to Jensen. Wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, he steers Jensen towards his study. "Come on, I've got something to show you."

Chris rolls his eyes at Jeffrey's exaggerated wink and mimics puking into the fake potted plant when Jensen shoots him a warning glance.

Jeffrey drops his hand to steer Jensen with the merest touch of his fingertips at the small of his back when they walk through the main room. Jensen realises that to anyone looking, they would appear as no more than casual acquaintances and he feels his face burn with humiliation.

As soon as the door closes behind them, Jeffrey has him pinned to the door, his fingers fumbling with Jensen's belt. Jensen turns his face away when Jeffrey tries to kiss him, gently trying to push him away.

"I thought you wanted to show me something."

"I did. I got it for you right here, baby," Jeffrey says, grinding his pelvis against Jensen's.

Jensen pushes him back more firmly and Jeffrey drops his hands, stepping back sharply.

"What's wrong now?"

"Nothing," Jensen says, plastering on a fake little smile. "It's just been a long day. I'm exhausted."

"Want me to call you a cab?" Jeffrey asks, but Jensen's already shaking his head.

"I'll catch a lift with Chris. See you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. I still need to welcome you back properly."

Jensen keeps a tight hold on the smile and pecks Jeffrey on the cheek.

Chris is already standing at the door, holding out his jacket.

"You knew to wait for me?"

"I was hoping," Chris says, straightening Jensen's collar. "Come on, we've got a six pack in the fridge and Sunday's game on TiVo."

Jensen wakes up the next morning with a slight hangover and a firm determination to get his act together. Jared's in Texas, and he's in LA. And so is Jeffrey. After everything he's done to bring him back, Jensen figures he owes it to him to give this a chance. Chris is out of town for a few days to help Steve in the recording studio, which means he has the apartment all to himself. He texts Jeffrey before he showers and dresses quickly, then heads to the market to pick up what he needs for dinner. He chooses some of Jeffrey's favourites, even the pickled eel he can't stand. If all goes according to plan, they won't get around to eating anyway.

Cooking isn't one of Jensen's strongest points and when the food's finally done after some blood, sweat and tears, Jensen gratefully escapes the kitchen. He showers again, takes his time getting dressed.

He's just sitting down on the couch, switching on the TV to kill the few minutes before Jeffrey's due to arrive when his phone rings.

"You're bringing the wine, right?" Jensen asks as he answers.

"Uh, hi. I'm sorry, babe. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a rain check on that dinner. Some last minute trouble with investors that needs to be worked out. You understand right?"

"Yeah," Jensen lies, "completely. Not a problem."

"Great! Love you."

"Love you," Jensen says before he realises the line has gone dead. "Too..." he tells the empty apartment.

Jensen dumps the food into the trash can, the neighbour's cat jumping in through the kitchen window to come begging for scraps. Even he turns his nose up at Jensen's attempt at cooking though and Jensen scoops him up with a chuckle. They settle back on the couch with Jensen still in his good black pants, sharing a can of tuna. He falls asleep with Law and Order on the television and the cat purring on his chest.

Jeffrey pretty much avoids him in the week that follows, not answering his calls or returning his texts. He even goes so far as to have Jensen's copy of the script delivered via courier. Jensen writes it off to him being busy, and keeps himself occupied learning his lines and packing up his stuff in boxes whenever he takes a break. Jeffrey's assistant phones him a few days later to schedule a read-through and he has to ask her if Jeffrey will be there.

The read-through goes as well as can be expected and Jensen has to grab hold of Jeffrey's arm before he runs off again.

"Jensen, can this wait? I really have to talk to Melinda about the costuming."

"No, Jeffrey, it can't. It'll just take a few minutes though."

"Okay, fine. Do we need to sit down?"

"I think that might be a good idea," Jensen says, taking the nearest seat.

"Well?" Jeffrey asks, sitting down next to him.

"I don't want to move in with you, Jeffrey. In fact, I'm breaking up with you."

"What are you talking about? I thought this was what you wanted."

"I thought so too. But Jeffrey, if we're honest, I think we both saw this coming. If I had to trick you into doing it, then it'll never work out."

"We could have a perfect life together, Jensen. Think about what you're saying."

"I did. And I'm thinking nothing is going to change. I'll keep waiting for the day you realise that you were forced into doing something you didn't want and end up resenting me for it."

Jeffrey gets up and shoves his chair to the side.

"Is this about the teacher?" he asks, his hands curled up into tight fists at his side.

"No," Jensen answers truthfully. "I'll probably never see him again."

Jeffrey stands looking down at him for a long time. Jensen meets his gaze calmly.

"Well, then it's his loss," Jeffrey says softly and reaches out to squeeze Jensen's shoulder.

"Thanks," Jensen says, "and I'm sorry for leaving you in the lurch with the play."

"What lurch? Jensen, this doesn't mean you lose your part. You're still the best man for the job and I expect you bright and early tomorrow morning for rehearsals."

Jensen can hardly believe he's leaving with his jaw intact, nevermind his job. Somewhere along the line he's forgotten that Jeffrey's actually a good man. It convinces him all over again that he's made the right decision, because Jeffrey deserves better.

He throws himself wholeheartedly into preparation for the play. He revels in the opportunity to completely lose himself in the character, thankful that he at least has his work to distract him. And when distraction doesn't work, he can always channel the pain and heartache he's feeling into his performance.

Megan e-mails him regularly, but beyond the cursory replies about his health and the weather, it's pretty much one-sided. She tells him about moving out and going back to school. That her parents are doing good and that Jeff and his wife are expecting another baby. She is kind enough not to mention Jared at all and Jensen alternates between being grateful and wanting to drag every last bit of information from her. She doesn't seem to mind his short and infrequent replies, possibly attributing it to him being busy and he feels like a Grade A asshole. To try and make up for it, he sends her two front row tickets for opening night, even though he knows she won't be able to make it. It's the thought that counts.

When his phone rings the day before they're set to open, he's not surprised to see Megan's name flashing on the display.

"Jensen!" Megan squeals into his ear and Jensen can almost feel her arms wrapping around him like the first time they met. He suddenly misses her so fiercely he can scarcely breathe. "Are you there?"

"Yeah. Hi Megan," says Jensen after he clears his throat.

"I just got the tickets! It's all so exciting, seeing your name printed right at the top. I read on the internet there's already quite a buzz going about your performance!"

"Really? Well, you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet, you know."

"Shut up and stop being so modest! I'm just sorry I won't be able to come. But you know I would if I could, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I figured as much, but I didn't want you thinking I didn't want you there. I... I miss you guys."

"We miss you too! Mom and Dad still can't stop gushing about you. And I'm so proud of you, Jensen!"

"Thanks," Jensen stammers and he's glad there's no one around to see him blushing.

"Anyway, tell me how it's going with you! Your emails are so boring. How are things going with Jeffrey."

"It's over with Jeffrey," Jensen says, "but I'm good. Everything is good. Really."

Jensen knows he's trying too hard, like he's trying to convince himself that it's true. There's a moment of silence where Jensen's working hard to resist asking about Jared.

"Jared's an idiot," Megan says like she can read his mind.

"Aren't we all?" he asks with a rueful little chuckle. "Listen, I'm sorry, but I gotta go. You take care of yourself, okay?"

"You too. And Jensen? Good luck."

Jensen ends the call and yells at Chris, asking what he wants on his pizza.

Somehow Jensen gets through the next twenty four hours with a minimum of puking and anxiety attacks. He blinks and suddenly it's time. He's here, costume riding up in the back, microphone taped behind his ear, on stage with the curtain about to go up. He glances to the side and Jeffrey's there, brow knit in stern concentration as he gives Jensen a thumbs up. Jensen breathes out slowly and feels his surroundings fade as he prepares to give life to the story on the page to the best of his ability.

Jensen knows he's succeeded in doing just that when the delivery of the last line is met by an expectant moment of silence, like a breath being drawn. Then the crowd erupts and Jensen's fellow players join him on either side as the lights go up and they take a bow. Some people are throwing things onto the stage, mostly their programs and a few scattered roses.

Jensen is still high from the performance, his blood pumping so fast he can hear it rushing in his ears. He feels something heavy land next to his foot and has to blink at it a few times to make sure it's real.

He bends, picking up the Texas belt buckle and lifts his eyes to the still cheering crowd. There, right in front, in one of the seats he expected to be empty, sits Jared. He's applauding too, grinning madly as he makes loud whooping noises. His hands slow and stop as Jensen's eyes lock on his, but he doesn't stop smiling and Jensen is powerless to resist.

Jensen frantically looks for a way to get off the stage, but there's no other choice than to go round the back. He tries to direct Jared in the same direction, but Jared's got another solution. With a powerful heave from his strong arms, he lifts himself up onto the stage. Jensen has to quickly step in when security grabs a hold of him.

"He's with me," he tells them and drags Jared back behind the curtain.

"You were amazing, Jensen."

"Jared, what are you doing here?"

"I've come to make you an offer."

"What?"

"Well, St Mary's still needs a drama teacher and though I know it could never compare to all of this ... apparently the principal already thinks the sun shines out of your ass."

"And what do you think?"

"Well, I've never seen actual sunshine coming from it, but I still think it a mighty fine ass."

"Jared."

"I think you made feel again. Made me love again." Jared leans in and kisses him softly, just pressing his lips to Jensen's experimentally. When Jensen presses his lips back, answering the kiss, Jared smiles against his mouth and continues. "I think I want you to take the job. I think, I know I want you to come back home with me. Come home with me, Jensen."

"Mmm," Jensen says, "that's a really tempting offer." He tilts his head and pretends to seriously contemplate it, but in the end there's only ever going to be one answer. He kisses the corner of Jared's mouth, his cheek, the shell of his ear, lingering there to softly whisper, "I'd love to."

 

~End.  



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